I've done it. After nearly two years of copious research, I've finally cracked the code. This is easily the greatest achievement of my life and possibly one of the biggest benefits to modern science in the last two decades. The enigma of IST - Indian Standard Time - has finally been solved.
Let me take a step back. Let me explain the inspiration for my research and how I arrived to this conclusion.
“I’ll be there in five minutes!” he exclaims over the phone. I sigh. This is a normal ritual. Every time there’s an event, he’s always late. I wait as the clock ticks on. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes pass and there’s still no sign of him. I pick up my phone and hit the redial button. “Arey yaar! Chill! Give me five minutes!”
I can’t help but chuckle. To him, five minutes can range anywhere from three minutes to half an hour. He doesn’t leave his house without strapping on his Casio watch, yet his notion of punctuality is so distorted that not only is he never on time, but he has little respect for other peoples’ time as well. Nevertheless, I cannot attack him singularly, for I have noticed this pattern among all of his people. For some reason, every Indian I’ve met can never come on time for anything.
It’s curious to note that this management of time echoes across all people of India. What is even more intriguing is that for every event, there is a stated time but also an expected time; if, for example, an invitation for a dinner party is sent out, the time on it would possibly say 8:00pm, yet it is an unwritten rule that the guests should arrive earliest by 8:15pm. Somehow, this telepathic coordination between the guests and the hosts works flawlessly, and the visitors arrive more or less around the same time, anywhere between 15-30 minutes after the given time. Any time before this is not considered rude, but it does lead to awkward encounters where even the host might still be bathing and not be ready. This phenomenon applies to nearly any situation, with the exception of academics, job interviews, etc.
The host vs. guest relationship in this scenario is extremely unique. The host broadcasts a time for the guests to arrive, knowing full well that the guests will not reach at the specified moment. In accordance, the guests comprehend that the host is not interested in the guests being completely on time, and are deliberately “behind schedule”. As an intentional latecomer, the guest donates the extra time the host might need for getting ready and tidying the house, after which the host welcomingly caters to the guests’ needs. Surprisingly, being late has no foundation in any religious, historical, or mythological circumstances. Therefore, we have no way of tracing its roots.
Fascinatingly, nowhere in Indian culture or heritage does it state how temporality should be managed. From birth, the Indian infant is automatically wired to [mis]understand the definition of punctuality. While we aren’t quite sure why this happens, my belief is that this was initially a result of old Indian customs of the mutual respect of the host-guest dynamic. As stated earlier, the guests provide a buffer period for the host to fully prepare themselves, which is considered a sign of courtesy. After years of observation, I have come to the conclusion that this original system of timeliness has transformed into habit rather than practice. If you type into the Google search engine, “why are Indians”, the first result Google suggests ends with “so rude”. Scanning the webpages leads us to find out that other cultures are not so appreciative of the Indians’ lateness, convinced that they are an impolite people. The next autosuggested result, curiously, leaves us with “Why are Indians so smart?” Intellect and temporality, I have deduced, go hand in hand.
Arriving late has become such an integral part of Indian culture that their lack of awareness towards punctuality is subconscious. It is never in their constant stream of thought, and has thereby cultivated a trend that everybody follows without question - almost as if coming on time to an event is a preposterous notion! To us, such a selfish and narrow minded thought process has resulted in a whole new system of time management, only referred to when talking about Indians: IST – Indian Standard Time. IST revolves around the belief that time is elastic, and it can its value can be shortened and elongated to one’s will. IST dictates that regardless of what time it is whichever time zone you are currently in,
minutes must be subtracted from the time (with the variable n representing the time the Indian promised they would arrive in and the variable x representing any positive integer of your choice, tending to infinity). In essence, the resulting output must be added to the intended time of arrival to determine when the Indian will reach.
While we only perceive time as what the clock tells us is correct, Indian brains are constantly, involuntarily calculating, leaving them with their interpretation of time –intelligence is mistaken for rudeness. There is nothing egocentric about their behavior towards timeliness, but contrastingly, it is out of respect that they are late. As anthropologists, we have no right to criticize another culture’s perspective on time; instead, we should figure out ways to bridge the gap between our customs. With the implementation of this formula, we can successfully calculate when exactly the Indian will arrive at his destination. I believe that this revolutionary equation will completely redefine the way we decipher the Indians’ sense of temporality.
Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I can see a Nobel Prize in Mathematics in my near future. If that is not the case, I shall continue my research in this intriguing field and hopefully, I will stumble upon something unique. Archaeological research can prove to be incredibly fruitful - the study is still in its infantile stages with regards to understanding IST, but with support from the international community I hope to one day completely unravel the mystery that is Indian Standard Time.
Let me take a step back. Let me explain the inspiration for my research and how I arrived to this conclusion.
“I’ll be there in five minutes!” he exclaims over the phone. I sigh. This is a normal ritual. Every time there’s an event, he’s always late. I wait as the clock ticks on. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes pass and there’s still no sign of him. I pick up my phone and hit the redial button. “Arey yaar! Chill! Give me five minutes!”
I can’t help but chuckle. To him, five minutes can range anywhere from three minutes to half an hour. He doesn’t leave his house without strapping on his Casio watch, yet his notion of punctuality is so distorted that not only is he never on time, but he has little respect for other peoples’ time as well. Nevertheless, I cannot attack him singularly, for I have noticed this pattern among all of his people. For some reason, every Indian I’ve met can never come on time for anything.
It’s curious to note that this management of time echoes across all people of India. What is even more intriguing is that for every event, there is a stated time but also an expected time; if, for example, an invitation for a dinner party is sent out, the time on it would possibly say 8:00pm, yet it is an unwritten rule that the guests should arrive earliest by 8:15pm. Somehow, this telepathic coordination between the guests and the hosts works flawlessly, and the visitors arrive more or less around the same time, anywhere between 15-30 minutes after the given time. Any time before this is not considered rude, but it does lead to awkward encounters where even the host might still be bathing and not be ready. This phenomenon applies to nearly any situation, with the exception of academics, job interviews, etc.
The host vs. guest relationship in this scenario is extremely unique. The host broadcasts a time for the guests to arrive, knowing full well that the guests will not reach at the specified moment. In accordance, the guests comprehend that the host is not interested in the guests being completely on time, and are deliberately “behind schedule”. As an intentional latecomer, the guest donates the extra time the host might need for getting ready and tidying the house, after which the host welcomingly caters to the guests’ needs. Surprisingly, being late has no foundation in any religious, historical, or mythological circumstances. Therefore, we have no way of tracing its roots.
Fascinatingly, nowhere in Indian culture or heritage does it state how temporality should be managed. From birth, the Indian infant is automatically wired to [mis]understand the definition of punctuality. While we aren’t quite sure why this happens, my belief is that this was initially a result of old Indian customs of the mutual respect of the host-guest dynamic. As stated earlier, the guests provide a buffer period for the host to fully prepare themselves, which is considered a sign of courtesy. After years of observation, I have come to the conclusion that this original system of timeliness has transformed into habit rather than practice. If you type into the Google search engine, “why are Indians”, the first result Google suggests ends with “so rude”. Scanning the webpages leads us to find out that other cultures are not so appreciative of the Indians’ lateness, convinced that they are an impolite people. The next autosuggested result, curiously, leaves us with “Why are Indians so smart?” Intellect and temporality, I have deduced, go hand in hand.
Arriving late has become such an integral part of Indian culture that their lack of awareness towards punctuality is subconscious. It is never in their constant stream of thought, and has thereby cultivated a trend that everybody follows without question - almost as if coming on time to an event is a preposterous notion! To us, such a selfish and narrow minded thought process has resulted in a whole new system of time management, only referred to when talking about Indians: IST – Indian Standard Time. IST revolves around the belief that time is elastic, and it can its value can be shortened and elongated to one’s will. IST dictates that regardless of what time it is whichever time zone you are currently in,
While we only perceive time as what the clock tells us is correct, Indian brains are constantly, involuntarily calculating, leaving them with their interpretation of time –intelligence is mistaken for rudeness. There is nothing egocentric about their behavior towards timeliness, but contrastingly, it is out of respect that they are late. As anthropologists, we have no right to criticize another culture’s perspective on time; instead, we should figure out ways to bridge the gap between our customs. With the implementation of this formula, we can successfully calculate when exactly the Indian will arrive at his destination. I believe that this revolutionary equation will completely redefine the way we decipher the Indians’ sense of temporality.
Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I can see a Nobel Prize in Mathematics in my near future. If that is not the case, I shall continue my research in this intriguing field and hopefully, I will stumble upon something unique. Archaeological research can prove to be incredibly fruitful - the study is still in its infantile stages with regards to understanding IST, but with support from the international community I hope to one day completely unravel the mystery that is Indian Standard Time.
